Picture Analysis

Each time I open the family blog and see the two pictures, I can't help but ponder the stories our faces tell. I know what you're thinking--"Yes, that old black and white is intriguing." But that's not the one that fascinates me. Yes, we would all like to know what's going through Mike's mind ("How full can I make my diaper?"). But look at the more recent picture.

Am I the only one who notices that Mom, Dad, Jennie and Suki form a square, and all of them are wearing white shirts, with the collars extending beyond a sweater! It's like a secret code or hidden message. What does it mean?

Sure, Dad tries to throw you off with that fained expression of senility, as if he's absently mumbling "Who's going to bring my soup?" Mom is clearly nervous, which forces her mouth into a off-kilter smile, as if she is trying to hide the gap caused by a missing tooth, when in fact she has all her teeth. Jennie and Suki look pretty innocent, but then right behind them is Matt, with his Stephen King/Uni-bomber stare, clearly about to crack under the strain of some almost unbearable secret.

Todd is smiling, without a care in the world, which suggests he's not aware of the secret. (Or perhaps it's just become a Pavlovian reflex--"Hey, someone's taking my picture! I wonder how much money I'm making?"). Lee is wearing a turtleneck sweater, which must be part of the hidden message, since turtlenecks went out of fashion in the 70's (check out the other picture). What does that mean? It's like a weird, inverted universe. And look at the expression on Lee and Mike's faces. They are clearly ecstatic about some shared secret knowledge. What is it?

As usual, I'm off to the side, clueless in my blue button-down and sweater vest, which I bought after I ditched the hep-cat turtleneck from the 70's (and have been wearing ever since). Please, someone let me in on the secret.