This weekend my apartment held an Italian mafia murder mystery dinner. It was a lot of fun and my mom wanted to see some pictures so I thought I would put them up for everybody to see. The first picture is of me and my great roommate, Geneva.
Here is a view through the front window of everyone in action getting all set up in the kitchen. And this last picture is of our whole group after dinner; they are a pretty funny bunch!
"Leave the gun. Take the canolies."To: Stuart Harris, Esq.
From: Office of Dick Cheney
Vice President of the United States
Date: February 23, 2008
Re: Gross Offenses
Dear Sir:
I have taken valuable time out of my busy schedule driving hunting companions to the hospitable and defending the honor of my former assistant, to address a situation that has been brought to my attention by an elderly, gray-haired couple somewhere down in the Caribbean.
It seems that you have been going through their mail and posting, on the Internet, spicy bits of private transactions that have been sent to them. I know that you, as an attorney and officer of the court, realize that this is a Federal Offense.
Therefore I have, as of the above date, given an order that your phone is to be tapped and all conversations will be recorded and reviewed by my office. It has also been brought to my attention that you live in a harem, so as I am sure you realize the phone conversations will be under close scrutiny.
It is my desire that this situation be resolved in an amiable manner before November 2008. This can easily be done by a generous contribution to the Republican National Committee, another check to President George W. Bush for his retirement fund, and a third check to the Legal Defense Fund for Scooter Libby.
By the way what are you doing with the Victoria's Secret catalogues that come to their address?
Thank you for your timely attention to this matter.
Sincerely your fellow right wing conservative,
Dick Cheney
cc: the elderly gray-haired couple somewhere in the Caribbean
We just got an e-mail from Seth. He has just been transferred--he's leaving the relatively balmy clime of Buffalo, Wyoming for still wintry Minot, North Dakota. I just checked the weather there and it's 9 degrees, but with windchill it feels like -3 (but it's a dry cold, right?). Here is his address:
1816 S. Main Apt 41
Minot, ND 58763
It's nice that he is able to see a fourth state, but I think he was actually enjoying the premonitions of spring in Wyoming. Oh, well, spring should hit Minot before he comes home in June.
Just thought I'd put fingers to keyboard and treat the readers of the family blog to an exclusive look into the life of the elusive English major. This semester has been filled with poetry in motion as well as on paper. I am in a Russian lit class and currently very busy reading Dostoevsky. On this standard frosty Provo day, I was commissioned to write a Haiku (for my creative writing class) which I feel compelled to share:
This is about a month old now, but here is the little guy motoring. He has become the terror of house plants, Symonie's make-up drawer, pots and pans, waste baskets, computer keyboards... basically the whole house.
One of the blessings of being the oldest male child is that I have inherited the privilege of answering Mom and Dad's mail. It's actually more entertaining that one might think. For example, yesterday Mom got a gift card from Express, which read:
"Taller. Slimmer. Sexier.
Belt it, raise it, or make it disappear. This season, the focus is on the waist. High-waisted pants and skirts give the apperaance of long, lean legs. A flirty belt helps define the waist and sculpts a slim, sleek silhouette. Feel taller. Look slimmer. Get sexier. It's spring's perfect look."
Mom, let me know if there is an Express in the DR and I'll send you gift card.
Some of the political mail is also interesting. Last week Mom got a letter from Mary Matalin, who is counselor to Dick Cheney--yes, Matt, that Dick Cheney, the Vice President. Apparently Mr. Cheney would like Mom to help Scooter Libby with his legal bills. I was going to write a letter advising the Vice President that Mom and Dad were on a mission, and they were wondering whether he (Mr. Cheney) could afford a few dollars for the Perpetual Education Fund. But then I ran out of time, so I had to settle for a quick note: "No money--Scooter should swing for lying to the grand jury." I signed Mom's name, so as to spare Mr. Cheney the feeling that Mom did not have the time to respond personally.
Then Dad got a letter from President Bush himself, asking why he had not renewed his membership in the Republican National Party. Again, I thought it best to respond on behalf of Dad: "Dear President Bush, thank you for your concern, but I have not renewed my membership because I did not think it would help me in the difficult choice between Senators Clinton and Obama. Very truly yours, Don Harris."
Most of all there are lots of tear stained letters from art gallery owners, wondering when Big D will return. Those I just toss. Anyway, I thought everyone might enjoy hearing about what Mom and Dad are missing in Portland. Love, Stuart
Dearest Family:
We had a very emotional day in the temple last week. A young couple from Curasel (sp?), one of the ABC Islands, (near Venezuela) came to the temple. He is the branch president of their small branch and she is a recent convert. They have a 14 month old little boy. They have been married for a few years but have never been able to come to the temple. Their temple is the Venezuela temple, and he says they can even see the mountains of Venezuela from their island, but the dangers of going into that place right now, plus the expense are not worth it. So they came to our temple along with a single sister friend. The wife and the single sister each received their own endowment last week and then have been attending the temple each day. They left this morning, but I was able to take a picture of them before they left. A beautiful couple and they speak English (an added bonus for me.) In fact I had to go down and address the baptistry youth the other night (thank goodness the Spirit attended with me) and the young man was there and so helped me with a couple of sentences. I get carried away sometimes and speak more than I have words to cover me; but as I read that last sentence most of us Harris' have that same problem whatever the language.
Anyway, getting back to my original story. The next day after receiving her endowment, the young sister came in and reported that she could not find her recommend. I went down to her locker and searched. We went into every place where we thought she might have left it and no luck. I told her to go back to the apartment and look through the diaper bag as she might have put it in there. No luck. So her husband came the next morning and since he is the branch president; he asked grandpa if he would counter-sign a new recommend for her. Dad had to look it up in the president's handbook to make sure he could do that and he could.
But in the meantime I was mentioning the problem to our dear secretary and something the husband had said stuck in my mind. He mentioned that the last time she had seen her recommend was while sitting in records review with the secretary. We hurried to that office and sure enough there was her recommend sitting on the corner of the desk. I went to the president's office and presented it to the young husband and he started to cry. That little piece of paper that many of us take so for granted was at that moment the most valuable possession he had. He said his wife would be so happy and from the look on his face I can imagine what she would feel. They have come every day since.
I wonder if we realize how very blessed we are to have such a simple little thing as our recommend but what profound meaning it should have to all of us. As President Hunter said, even if we do not live close to a temple we should always have one and carry it with us. I hope that each of us will see the temple through the eyes of a brand new attendee and realize the eternal blessings that are waiting for us in that Holy House of the Lord.
We love and pray for each and every one of you daily. May the Father's choicest blessings be with you all. Love Mom, Di, Aunt Di, Grandma and Greatgrandma (though I don't think our greatgrandchildren can read as yet. )
Hey Everybody,
Bryce and I were just commenting about how no one seems to post as much anymore. So I thought I would just say hello. I was playing around with the settings and so that is why things look a little bit different on here.... sorry. If anyone has any ideas or pics or anything else that you want to have added to the blog, please send them to me. Well we're doing well. We'll probably be moving again sometime this month, nothing new...and we find out next week if we're having a boy or a girl, so we'll be sure to let you all know! And if you have any names you think would go well with "Wi" we'd love to hear em. (And yes I understand what that request might bring from some of you).
Anyways, hope all is well with everyone. Please post something if you have time... It doesn't have to be a picture-just a little blurb is great!
Take Care
Love, The Wi Family
Hi Dear Family,
I post so seldom that I keep forgetting how to do it and so I have to acquaint myself with it all over again. But, now I am in the groove again, and so here we go. I think I have related this to a few of you, but we were so touched by this that I want all to know of the care and great love the Father and His Son have for all of us-especially elderly missionaries ( but you young ones, too)
Dad/Grandpa and I went to our first Stake Conference last Sunday. We went alone and were given a map to which building in this particular city the conference was to be held. The city, San Francisco de Marcoris, is about a two hour drive from here up in the North Central part of the Island.
We left about 7:00 am and arrive at the city in about an hour and a half and I am thinking boy we are going to be over an hour early. But since Grandpa would rather be two hours early than two minutes late, OK we'll do it and not say anything (which is hard for Grandma sometimes.)
But then the trouble starts, as we find the neighborhood where the chapel is supposed to be (on the map anyway) and we can't find it. We stop and ask a man who is outside in his yard, and lucky us he speaks English. We show him on our map where the chapel is supposed to be and he insists it is not there. I think he looks at us, the color of our hair and the perplexed expressions on our faces and says he will guide us there. Well, bless his heart, he does. But, it is another chapel on the other side of the highway and it is locked up tighter than a drum. But we thank him and smile and he goes on his way.
Well, we know this is not the building and so Grandpa goes back over to the neighborhood where we just left. I am begging please do not go back to that same man as that would be very embarassing. (I still care what people think of me, I'm afraid). We go one street over and there is another man out in his yard. After Grandpa gets out and talks to him the man invites several neighbors over and they all discuss it. Muchas palabras. Then he gets in his car and motions for us to follow him. We do and he drives downtown. He stops at a corner where there are a bunch of men standing around and gets out and again muchas palabras. Finally, a man on a moto motions for us to follow him. We thank the other neighborhood man and off we go, but it only takes a couple of seconds to discover that he is taking us right back to that chapel that is all locked up. We do follow him and here we are again. This time, though, I think he sees a soft touch and makes the money motion with his fingers. I find a 50 peso note and give it to him, with not as many thanks as the 'free' man got and off he goes.
Well, we are left with a cell phone which we try to use but since it is brand new with a 'boysenberry' and everything we have not a clue as to how to use it and of course we did not try before we left home. So we are sitting there and I look up and there goes a young man in a long-sleeved white shirt and dark pants on a moto. He stops at the gate of the chapel and tries the lock. We drive over and ask him if he by any chance knows where the building is that the stake conference is being held? He says yes, because he is the stake secretary! He hops on his moto and tells us to follow him which we gladly do.
Of course, it is way on the other side of town, the building which is not even on this wonderful map that was given us. He leads us right into the parking lot. I have wished that I knew enough of the language to inquire of him, why he happened to be at that particular building when there was not meeting going on. I have my own thoughts on that. The Holy Spirit whispered to him that he needed to swing by there and make sure no one forgot there was Stake Conference that particular Sunday, knowing that we would need his help.
We had a wonderful conference. The General Authority ask us to sit on the stand and Grandpa had prepared a 5 minute talk which he had had translated for him. But I was asked to speak and I had not prepared anything. But, children and grandchildren, we are always prepared because we have our testimonies which we can share anytime and anyplace we need to or the Spirit directs us to. Mine was shared in Espanol and it was alright because I had help when I needed it, which we all do.
Please know that your parents and grandparents know that Father in Heaven lives and loves all of his children. When we are doing what we should be doing He and His Son, our Savior, will always be there for us. They will never ask us to do anything but what they will be standing by our side waiting to help. WE KNOW THAT TO BE TRUE.
We love you all and pray for you always. All our love to you, Grandpa and Grandma Harris
Hi Everyone,
We just wanted to show off a picture of Rachel in her Seahawks gear. Even though they didn't go as far as we would have liked (don't mention anything about it to Bryce he's still bitter) Rachel loved watching the games with her daddy and really got into it (like Bryce) by throwing her hands in the air and yelling at the TV or clapping. It was quite funny and a little frightening!!!! I'm adding a video as well.... It's really dark and hard to see-but you'll get the idea! Enjoy.
